When I was growing up, I learned that apologies are made when I have done something wrong. The older I got the more I realised that I had started apologising for things that were in themselves not wrong but that someone else made me feel like I was wrong to feel that way. Over time, I have learned to stop myself from saying, “I’m sorry” just so that I can make someone else feel better when I haven’t even wronged them. Below are 5 things that I have stopped apologising for.
1. Saying no
If someone asks you to do something that you don’t feel inclined to do or that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say no. A question usually warrants a yes or no answer. Don’t allow anybody to coerce you into doing anything that you will later regret. Stand your ground and don’t feel inclined to over-explain your decisions.
2. Having “me” time
Ever since I became a mum, I have learned to appreciate “me” time whether it’s a few minutes everyday or a day I spend by myself. I take this time to look back on my days and see if my actions are in line with my goals and to plan my days. I also use this time to exercise, go for long walks, watch a movie or pamper myself with a mani/pedi. I don’t feel bad admitting that I need “me” time. I have learned how important it is to look after myself so that I may be better placed to look after those around me.
3. Priorities and following your dreams
I recently had a discussion with someone who was trying to convince me that I needed to go down one road when in reality I felt that I was better off on another path. I told him unequivocally that my priorities right now are not the same as they were four years ago and I’m not sorry for it. If growing your career, getting your dream home, travelling abroad is top on your priority list, don’t apologise when others tell you that you should be focussing more on settling down, and vice versa. Live your life according to what you deem important at that moment and let others talk if they disagree with you.
4. Your imperfections
I was going to put imperfections in quotes but I realised that yes, we all have imperfections. There’s no sense in trying to pretend that we don’t. I’m quick tempered, I over-process situations and I tend to be overly sensitive. There was a time when I would apologise for these imperfections mostly because I thought they weren’t acceptable in other people’s eyes. But you know what? That’s just who I am. I’m working on those things that I can improve but the ones I can’t, I’m sorry but I’m not going to apologise for them. This is who I am so you can either accept me, imperfections and all, or stay away from me.
5. Ending toxic relationships
Let’s agree on something, everyone of us has that someone or group of people in our lives that are extremely toxic. They have a very negative outlook on life, whenever you want to do something new to improve yourself they put you down, they compare you to other people pointing out your flaws (destructive criticism), they just never see the good in anything. First things first, end these relationships today. Then, stop feeling bad about it and saying how sorry you are that you had to end the friendship. You are justified in removing such negativity from your life. Once they are gone, you will see how much happier and more positive you become.
Do you sometimes feel like you are apologising for things that you shouldn’t? What things have you stopped apologizing for?
* You will receive a weekly newsletter from Inches To Style including most recent posts and videos, and musings on the latest happenings around the world.
Video: What I wore in a week
One of the things I promised myself I would do, ever since this pandemic started and life slowed down, is that I would dress up every single day. Granted, I had nowhere to go, but putting on an outfit, no matter how simple, uplifted my…